PortalHomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Share | .
 

 Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)-Finished

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Kratan Skor


avatar


Posts : 26
Join Date : 2014-04-15
Rank : Novena Espada
Exp : 120
Weapon Skill : Untrained
HSM : Master
Reiatsu : Master
Hakudo : Untrained

PostSubject: Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)-Finished   Thu Apr 24, 2014 11:35 am

General information--------------------------------------------------

Name: Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)

Representation: Snakes, Poison

Family: Poison

Sealed State--------------------------------------------------

Appearance:This Zanpakuto takes the form of a small dagger, about twelve inches large, with a silver blade and green hilt. A piece of cloth, imitating snake-skin, is wrapped around the bottom-half of the small blade.

Type: Dagger

Resurreccion--------------------------------------------------

Release Phrase: Hiss and Slither, Serpiente Venenosa

Appearance: First and foremost, upon activating his Resurreccion, Kratan dons a completely green armor with a scaly appearance, somewhat resembling the skin of a snake. his toes are replaced with talons and his fingers with claws. From both his elbows and knees extend sharp blades which can cause large damage to those unprotected.

His green hair becomes slightly longer, though not by that much, and his mask fragment is made longer, extending across his entire jaw-line, the teeth becoming sharper and pointier. However, the most noticeable change is his new companions. From Kratan's back, two giant, green snake-heads extend, their heads resting above Kratan's shoulders.

Ability:


Two Companions

This form grants him two companions, the giant snake-heads on his back. These snakes can attack at the same time as Kratan, and can extend up to Eight meters. Their scales are strong, and grant the same defensive capabilities as Kratan's armor. Kratan's armor can defend against all Untrained Physical attacks and Kido of levels 1-10, and can survive up to 10 blows of Beginner physical attacks, or Kido of level 11-25. It can survive 5 Blows from average physical attacks, or Kido from levels 26-30, 3 Expert physical Attacks, or Kido from level 30-50, and a single blow from a master Physical attack, or a Kido level 51-70. Kido above level 71 will instantly break his armor.

Techs: (only a total of 7 techs allowed upon creation, unless a tech pack has been purchased. Please use template below.)

Name: Cero Triple
Description: The snake-heads lean over Kratan's shoulders as he charges a Cero, combining their reiatsu with it and creating a three-times-as-large and three-times-as-strong Cero with incredible power.
Preparation Time: 1 post.
Duration: 1 Post
Cooldown: 5 Posts

Name: Poison gas
Description: The snake-heads each breath out a thick gas which spreads up to  15 meters. It doesn't target vitals, nerves, skin, or anything. It targets the body's ability to properly manage it's reiryoku. The poison, once inside the victim, will begin to quote "black out" (unquote) the target's reiryoku, causing the body to think there is less than usual. Since the body is under the assumption that there are less spiritual particles available, all attacks will suffer a penalty of -20 points in strength.
Preparation Time: N/A
Duration: 5 Post
Cooldown: 3

Segunda Etapa-------------------------------------------------

N/A


Last edited by Kratan Skor on Mon May 05, 2014 4:48 pm; edited 3 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Kratan Skor


avatar


Posts : 26
Join Date : 2014-04-15
Rank : Novena Espada
Exp : 120
Weapon Skill : Untrained
HSM : Master
Reiatsu : Master
Hakudo : Untrained

PostSubject: Re: Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)-Finished   Fri May 02, 2014 11:10 am

Finished
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Zanmato

Weapons Moderator
Weapons Moderator
avatar


Age : 24
Posts : 71
Join Date : 2014-02-16
Rank : Lord of Blood
Exp : 107
Weapon Skill : Master
HSM : Master
Reiatsu : Master
Hakudo : Untrained

PostSubject: Re: Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)-Finished   Fri May 02, 2014 11:57 pm

Quote :
This resurreccion increases Kratan's attributes. His speed doubles, as does his physical strength, and his armor grants him a slight resistance against physical attacks, being able to block all hits by untrained. The power of his Reiatsu-based abilities are also doubled.He also gains immunity to all types of poison.

Two Companions

This form also grants him two companions, the giant snake-heads on his back. These snakes can attack at the same time as Kratan, and can extend up to Eight meters. Their bite is also poisonous. Their scales are strong, and grant the same defensive capabilities as Kratan's armor.

Let's start here, with your ability.  You are trying to accomplish too much with it.  I'm going to have to ask you to take away the bolded section, though you can keep the armor.  On another note, I'm going to say that you cannot be immune to all types of poison, as that negates other player's weapons entirely.  What you can do however, is craft a resistance to poison into your ability if it is slight in nature and is explained in a way that gives that impression.  (Explain that section very well.)  Now onto the poison that you mention the snake heads have.  What does this poison do?  How potent is it?  How many posts does it take for it to take effect?  I require details here, please.

Quote :
Name: Acid Shot
Description: The snake-heads each shoot out one ball of acid which corrodes anything it touches. If the attacks hit the floor, the acid will spread into a large pool about three meters wide that lasts for five posts.
Preparation Time: N/A
Duration: 5 Post
Cooldown: 3 Posts

I'm afraid that I cannot allow this technique as it is currently worded.  It cannot corrode anything it touches.  What this technique lacks is parameters.  Obviously it cannot corrode Weapons, but you have to answer some questions: Can it dissolve constructs made of reiatsu as well as physical objects?  How long does it take for the corrosion to take effect (by that, I mean how long does it take for it to dissolve things)?  Is there a way to remove the acid once it has made contact?  Details are important for techniques involving corrosion.  ^-^

Quote :
Name: Reiatsu Saber
Description: Both Snake Heads open their mouths, unleashing a blade of green reiatsu, several times stronger than a regular blade..
Preparation Time: N/A
Duration: 8 Post
Cooldown: 4 Posts

The way that I'm reading this is that the snakes can give you swords that are 'stronger than a regular blade.'  What does it mean that it is stronger than a regular blade?  Forgive the general nature of that question, but depending on your answer, I might recommend you just incorporate this technique into your abilities section.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Kratan Skor


avatar


Posts : 26
Join Date : 2014-04-15
Rank : Novena Espada
Exp : 120
Weapon Skill : Untrained
HSM : Master
Reiatsu : Master
Hakudo : Untrained

PostSubject: Re: Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)-Finished   Mon May 05, 2014 10:12 am

Edited
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Kratan Skor


avatar


Posts : 26
Join Date : 2014-04-15
Rank : Novena Espada
Exp : 120
Weapon Skill : Untrained
HSM : Master
Reiatsu : Master
Hakudo : Untrained

PostSubject: Re: Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)-Finished   Mon May 05, 2014 4:49 pm

I just removed saber, finished.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Zanmato

Weapons Moderator
Weapons Moderator
avatar


Age : 24
Posts : 71
Join Date : 2014-02-16
Rank : Lord of Blood
Exp : 107
Weapon Skill : Master
HSM : Master
Reiatsu : Master
Hakudo : Untrained

PostSubject: Re: Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)-Finished   Mon May 05, 2014 5:47 pm

Approved then.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content





PostSubject: Re: Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)-Finished   

Back to top Go down
 

Serpiente Venenosa (Poisonous Serpent)-Finished

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Bleach: Eve of Eternity :: Character Creation :: Weapon Registry :: Pending Weapons/WIP-